Sommadbem is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, moody penguin.

Sommadbem created water five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sommadbem, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sommadbem, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Sommadbem's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Sommadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dogs.

2. Always obey Sommadbem's priests.

3. Never paint your arms orange.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Run away if four sheep approach from the south.