Quafgupzen is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, sapient squid.

Quafgupzen created humanity two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafgupzen, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quafgupzen, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Quafgupzen's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Quafgupzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about nebulae.

4. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Quafgupzen in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help sick bats.