Wadlakvab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, tranquil ant.

Wadlakvab created an atom eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wadlakvab, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Wadlakvab, he will turn you into a duck.

Wadlakvab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Wadlakvab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to otters while wearing hats.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. You must pray to Wadlakvab eight times a day.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Wadlakvab loves foxes, so they must be honoured.