Wancussnell is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying dog.

Wancussnell created humankind two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wancussnell, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wancussnell, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wancussnell's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Wancussnell's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick cats.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Put Wancussnell first in all things.

5. Wancussnell loves doves, so they must be respected.