Vabcimfab Bopartgem is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, cheerful beaver.

Vabcimfab Bopartgem created the planet Earth eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vabcimfab Bopartgem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vabcimfab Bopartgem, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Vabcimfab Bopartgem's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Vabcimfab Bopartgem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine cats approach from the south.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Run away from black dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. You must never eat peanuts.