Konarmratomtzag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, selfish hippopotamus.

Konarmratomtzag created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konarmratomtzag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Konarmratomtzag, she will turn you into a tree.

Konarmratomtzag's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Konarmratomtzag's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never sprint near aardvarks.

3. Run away from mauve porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Do not keep seven rats in a large pit.

5. Never feed bread to foxes while wearing scarves.