Teenvonkbamrilmon is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, thoughtless hippopotamus.

Teenvonkbamrilmon created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Teenvonkbamrilmon, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Teenvonkbamrilmon, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Teenvonkbamrilmon's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Teenvonkbamrilmon's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Teenvonkbamrilmon.

2. Do not wear platinum on your body.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Never talk about fire.