Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, awe-inspiring snail.

Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb.

2. Always help shrews in need.

3. Do not take Jopbissdod Tagdanfeb's name in vain.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not wear red clothing.