Tonkbagomt is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, blissful manatee.

Tonkbagomt created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkbagomt, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkbagomt, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tonkbagomt's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Tonkbagomt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about ultrasonics.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.