Fliscitpid Sidjarndav is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful dugong.

Fliscitpid Sidjarndav created tapeworms three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fliscitpid Sidjarndav, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fliscitpid Sidjarndav, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fliscitpid Sidjarndav's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Fliscitpid Sidjarndav's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about mites.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.