Vogjanmip is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, resourceful turtle.

Vogjanmip created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogjanmip, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Vogjanmip, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vogjanmip's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vogjanmip's Holy Commandments

1. Vogjanmip loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

2. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Always help swans in need.