Gonwanciss is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, calm zebra.

Gonwanciss created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Gonwanciss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonwanciss, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gonwanciss' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Gonwanciss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight turtles approach from the east.

2. Never mention goats.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.