Quillcannad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, blissful snake.

Quillcannad created a quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quillcannad, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Quillcannad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Quillcannad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Quillcannad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near voles while wearing fawn corsets and balancing five silicon spheres on your neck.

2. Never talk about photosynthesis.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Erect six zinc sculptures of Quillcannad on top of important buildings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.