Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab, he will destroy your home solar system.

Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Stanvagraparflarpsterfligkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Feed all hungry ants.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never wear rings.