Watnartpinsit is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, temperamental dolphin.

Watnartpinsit created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Watnartpinsit, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Watnartpinsit, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Watnartpinsit's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Watnartpinsit's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat aubergines.

2. Never wear orange shirts.

3. Never hurt badgers.

4. Never think about eukaryotes.

5. Do not take Watnartpinsit's name in vain.