Gidfobhinlaklamnad is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, effective wren.

Gidfobhinlaklamnad created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidfobhinlaklamnad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gidfobhinlaklamnad, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Gidfobhinlaklamnad's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Gidfobhinlaklamnad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near snakes while wearing magenta corsets.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.