Padcidven is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, narcissistic goblin.

Padcidven created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Padcidven, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Padcidven, he will destroy your home planet.

Padcidven's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Padcidven's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Padcidven.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Run away from purple great tits, for they are unholy.

4. Never eat lemons.

5. Never write about moons.