Veenlanquat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, clever dog.

Veenlanquat created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Veenlanquat, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Veenlanquat, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Veenlanquat's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Veenlanquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never think ill of sick otters.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Do not drink alcohol.