Yiktomcem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, kind swan.

Yiktomcem created bats two years ago.

If you believe in Yiktomcem, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yiktomcem, he will come to you in dreams.

Yiktomcem's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yiktomcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt aardvarks.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never eat parsnips.

4. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Yiktomcem in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never write about fluid mechanics.