Lapgesstif is a god.
It takes the form of a thin, contented
salamander.
Lapgesstif created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.
If you believe in
Lapgesstif, it will grant you five wishes.
If you do not believe in
Lapgesstif, it will send you a strongly worded letter.
Lapgesstif's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.
Lapgesstif's Holy Commandments1. Do not covet oxen.
2. Do not cook food in pots.
3. Never wear shirts.
4. Lapgesstif loves doves, so they must be honoured.
5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.