Lapgesstif is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, contented salamander.

Lapgesstif created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Lapgesstif, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Lapgesstif, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Lapgesstif's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lapgesstif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never wear shirts.

4. Lapgesstif loves doves, so they must be honoured.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.
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