Tettibomcen is a god.

He takes the form of a large, boastful bat.

Tettibomcen created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettibomcen, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettibomcen, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Tettibomcen's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Tettibomcen's Holy Commandments

1. Tettibomcen must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

3. Never talk about quantum gravity near aardvarks while wearing indigo tights.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettibomcen.

5. Pray towards the north.