Pancitzag is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, resourceful coyote.

Pancitzag created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pancitzag, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Pancitzag, it will turn you into a tree.

Pancitzag's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Pancitzag's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pancitzag on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

5. Do not covet oxen.