Rutfebgigjab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud dove.

Rutfebgigjab created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Rutfebgigjab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Rutfebgigjab, it will send minions to preach to you.

Rutfebgigjab's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Rutfebgigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Rutfebgigjab in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

3. Never feed peas to dogs while wearing ear rings.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.