Midbimpag Milsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, slow fish.

Midbimpag Milsom created water seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Midbimpag Milsom, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Midbimpag Milsom, he will ignore you.

Midbimpag Milsom's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Midbimpag Milsom's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Midbimpag Milsom.

2. Hide from pink sharks for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Run away if eight doves approach from the west.