Tafyarlpin is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, duplicitous dragon.

Tafyarlpin created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafyarlpin, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tafyarlpin, he will be very sad.

Tafyarlpin's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Tafyarlpin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. You must love Tafyarlpin.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not listen to music.