Parkdogbam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, quiet armadillo.

Parkdogbam created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Parkdogbam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parkdogbam, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Parkdogbam's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Parkdogbam's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Parkdogbam.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never feed parsnips to eagles while wearing green ear rings.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.