Flatcamvolkik is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, merciful horse.

Flatcamvolkik created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatcamvolkik, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flatcamvolkik, it will refuse to believe in you.

Flatcamvolkik's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Flatcamvolkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Flatcamvolkik must be the most important thing in your life.