Ranyikfar is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unselfish crocodile.

Ranyikfar created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranyikfar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ranyikfar, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ranyikfar's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Ranyikfar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five platinum sculptures of Ranyikfar on top of important buildings.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Run away if three mice approach from the north.

4. Hide from indigo manatees for they are unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.