Gessflaglitzan is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, vain ant.

Gessflaglitzan created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gessflaglitzan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gessflaglitzan, he will turn you into a sheep.

Gessflaglitzan's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Gessflaglitzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear brown clothing.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never paint your back indigo.

4. Never talk about spacetime near otters while wearing purple trousers and balancing four titanium spheres on your head.

5. You must pray to Gessflaglitzan seven times a day.