Tofstiptail is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tranquil goat.

Tofstiptail created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofstiptail, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tofstiptail, it will destroy your home planet.

Tofstiptail's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tofstiptail's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear blue clothing.