Donrutgenwabgarveen is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-knowing parrot.

Donrutgenwabgarveen created the Milkyway eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Donrutgenwabgarveen, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Donrutgenwabgarveen, she will boil you in a big pot.

Donrutgenwabgarveen's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Donrutgenwabgarveen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink swans for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near turtles while wearing violet rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your chest.

3. Do not dye your hair white.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.