Pogflambityik is a god.

He takes the form of a small, calm seal.

Pogflambityik created the planet Mars six million years ago.

If you believe in Pogflambityik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pogflambityik, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pogflambityik's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Pogflambityik's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not take Pogflambityik's name in vain.

3. Pogflambityik loves cats, so they must be respected.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Never talk about ultrasonics near geese while wearing black scarves and balancing nine zinc spheres on your chest.