Sitcapbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, dishonourable lobster.

Sitcapbeg created the planet Earth five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sitcapbeg, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sitcapbeg, it will destroy your home planet.

Sitcapbeg's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Sitcapbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry turtles.

2. Sitcapbeg loves voles, so they must be respected.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. You must pray to Sitcapbeg four times a day.

5. Never talk about nebulae.