Badkonab is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured jaguar.

Badkonab created a charm quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Badkonab, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Badkonab, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Badkonab's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Badkonab's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Run away from green rats, for they are unholy.

3. Run away if seven otters approach from the east.

4. Always help grasshopers in need.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.