Quartlarngess is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, grumpy capybara.

Quartlarngess created humankind seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartlarngess, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quartlarngess, it will remove you from existence.

Quartlarngess' most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Quartlarngess' Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always treat moths with great respect.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. You must love Quartlarngess.