Veenyattwan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane lizard.

Veenyattwan created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenyattwan, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Veenyattwan, he will have a low opinion of you.

Veenyattwan's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Veenyattwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nucleic acids.

2. Do not take Veenyattwan's name in vain.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near mites while wearing indigo corsets and balancing eight lead spheres on your neck.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.