Vogpigpak is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, irritating ant.

Vogpigpak created humankind nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogpigpak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vogpigpak, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Vogpigpak's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Vogpigpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about turnips.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Put Vogpigpak first in all things.

5. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Vogpigpak in the centre of the settlement.