Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, strong dove.

Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren created the Sombrero Galaxy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kadpanpit Spagbunnar Camquillren's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs black.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.