Titpopbun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome goblin.

Titpopbun created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Titpopbun, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Titpopbun, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Titpopbun's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Titpopbun's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the north.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Never feed nuts to ants while wearing hats.