Pagyatjatsad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, witless spider.

Pagyatjatsad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pagyatjatsad, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pagyatjatsad, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Pagyatjatsad's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Pagyatjatsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away if seven doves approach from the north.