Pinarpgup is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, self-confident snail.

Pinarpgup created the solar system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinarpgup, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pinarpgup, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Pinarpgup's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Pinarpgup's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pinarpgup.

4. Learn four new languages a year.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate birds.