Bastgilhanlun is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, temperamental fish.

Bastgilhanlun created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Bastgilhanlun, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bastgilhanlun, it will torture you forever.

Bastgilhanlun's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Bastgilhanlun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Bastgilhanlun first in all things.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Hide from green porpoises for they are unholy.

4. Run away if four ducks approach from the north.

5. Never hurt monkeys.