Bagrenlim Flyarlgad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, selfish cat.

Bagrenlim Flyarlgad created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bagrenlim Flyarlgad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bagrenlim Flyarlgad, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bagrenlim Flyarlgad's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bagrenlim Flyarlgad's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.