Nelcadpib is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, blissful pigeon.

Nelcadpib created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Nelcadpib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nelcadpib, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nelcadpib's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Nelcadpib's Holy Commandments

1. Voles are not to be trusted.

2. Do not hurt porpoises.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Nelcadpib in the centre of the settlement.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear black clothing.