Besshomban is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, confident hummingbird.

Besshomban created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Besshomban, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Besshomban, it will turn you into a dog.

Besshomban's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Besshomban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Erect a giant fawn sculpture of Besshomban in the centre of the settlement.