Flabsawnur is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced tortoise.

Flabsawnur created the universe four years ago.

If you believe in Flabsawnur, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Flabsawnur, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Flabsawnur's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Flabsawnur's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Run away from cyan mites, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.