Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited clam.

Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar created the planet Venus five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar, he will turn you into a mole.

Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not hurt sheep.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wabbummat Xemjatyog Janhabnar.