Dogkipgess is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, narcissistic aardvark.

Dogkipgess created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dogkipgess, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dogkipgess, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dogkipgess' most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dogkipgess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help ants in need.