Flywonbum is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, staggering tapir.

Flywonbum created Asia three million years ago.

If you believe in Flywonbum, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Flywonbum, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flywonbum's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Flywonbum's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Erect five nickel sculptures of Flywonbum on top of important buildings.

5. You must pray to Flywonbum nine times a day.