Fasciss Rakab is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable hydra.

Fasciss Rakab created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Fasciss Rakab, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fasciss Rakab, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fasciss Rakab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fasciss Rakab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Fasciss Rakab loves horses, so they must be respected.

5. Do not hurt tortoises.